Time flies like an oiled windmill turns

Hello lovelies,
I just realized how soon school ends. Woo! I also realized just how much I have to get done in that small amount of time! Yikes!

I have a lesson of Japanese homework to do before this Friday. (it takes a while) I also have a few other various worksheets to do by then. My final is next week on Monday and I have to do the studyguide for that!

My Bible class ends in two weeks and I don't even want to think how much I have to get done for that class. Super stressful that one is, especiallly when I really want to make a good impression but am failing miserably at getting my journaling done. I have two entries and we were supposed to have 14 last week.....

Anyway, I leave for class in ten minutes so I'll talk to you later interwebz,
-Melina Rose

My Day Today

This morning I wanted to just get in my truck and keep driving until I wasn't anymore. I felt like I didn't have anything to bring into life. I was discouraged and stressed about my quarter inch thick stack of Japanese homework and the final that I may or may not be taking tonight.
But I wanted to do my duty to the world. I wanted to appear okay. I wanted to keep my mom from crying because I told her she hurt my feelings. I didn't want anything to be my fault, yet I wanted to take care of what I knew was.
So I went to school. I chatted with my friends. I took my Japanese test and got into my truck again. I started driving home but decided to once again stop at the oriental market that I pass everyday that way. I didn't buy my usual banana milk. I didn't even by a coffee drink. I wanted something refreshing, something that would renew any energy I had left. The cool, simple liquid was refreshing and I felt just a tiny bit better.
But I didn't want to go home yet. I knew I needed something to get my head together. My thoughts were entirely too jumbled to accomplish anything quite yet. I found myself in my church parking lot. Maybe I would go for a walk. No, I needed to work on that pile of homework.
"Hey is it okay if I hang out in the sanctuary and just work on homework for a bit?" Our receptionist looked a little confused. "Sure but we leave at four."
I told her not to worry I would make sure to not be there that long and quietly went in. It was almost silent with no distractions. Only the small clinking noises and the sound of quiet movement could be heard from the lady cleaning up from a brunch or something that had taken place earlier.
I got three pages of homework done, consumed two chocolate cake-pops thanks to the lady and organized my entire Japanese folder. My spirits were a little higher.
I began driving home a little after three thirty pm. I still didn't really want to go home but I knew that I still had stuff to do.
But I saw a kid from our youthgroup walking along the side of the road. I knew it was kind of cold out. I knew he wasn't a jerk and I knew he doesn't drive. So I made a quick U-turn and pulled into a side street as he was about to cross. "Do you need a ride?"
"Yeah, that would be great."
So I drove him the opposite way I was going, to his house. He was pretty happy and I managed to keep the conversation going for once. It's not like he had a problem with that either though. He went inside and I headed home.
And it was then that I realized. I felt refreshed. No, it wasn't a magical "Oh, I'm so happy now and I can all these things lalalalala." I just knew somehow that I was stronger and I had been hanging out with my bestie all day long.
So thanks God for hanging out with me. I know you'll never leave me but I kinda feel like I lock myself away from you sometimes without even meaning to.
So, again tomorrow?

-MelinaRose

YouTube. Now with a free slap back to reality.

"People are always talking about how they want to get to know God. You people don’t want to get to know God! God is horrifying! God will screw you up! He will turn everything on its head. He’ll make all your leasts your greatests and your greatests your leasts! He will make you come to grips with the reality that you aren’t in control of anything! ANYTHING! You won’t even be in control of your own spiritual highs. So you out there, you better think twice before you say you want to know God. God might be love, but love is terrifying."

                                                                                                                                    -Jordan/blimeycow

   While the videos on blimeycow's channel tend to be sarcastic, this section of the video entitled "Get to Know God" stood out to me. I actually agree for the most part.

   Being a Christian, getting to know God, having a relationship with Him, isn't all fun and games. It isn't always a happy-go-lucky venture. Being a Christian is more than just doing "Christian things" or being a good person. It's not telling everyone Jesus loves them, or winning theological debates. 

   Being a Christian really is giving up your life for God and letting Him fulfill His plan in your life. That doesn't mean that you have to be miserable, or that you have to go be a missionary in some foreign country. God has a different plan for everyone. That being said, it's His plan and not ours. 

   We naturally want lots of cool stuff, and friends, and to have everything work the way we want it to in life. God can see the bigger picture. While it may not be pleasant now, or what we want, or what we think is good for us, it is what's best, because He's God, and He loves us.

   So yes, He will change your life. He will turn everything you thought you had under control on it's head. Your desires and goals will be completely in His hands. You will have to come to grips with the fact that, by getting to know God, you have to let go of control. Of everything. Because "being a Christian" isn't about us. It's about God.

Isn't love terrifying interwebz?

-Melina Rose

I know I'm broken but You alone can mend this heart of mine.

 

I call, You hear me 
I've lost it all 
And it's more than I can bear 
I feel so empty

You're strong, I'm weary 
I'm holding on 
But I feel like giving in 
But still You're with me

[chorus] 
And even though I'm walking 
Through the valley of the shadow 
I will hold tight to the hand of Him 
Whose love will comfort me 
And when all hope is gone 
And I've been wounded in the battle 
He is all the strength that I will ever need 
He will carry me

I know I'm broken 
But You alone 
Can mend this heart of mine 
You're always with me

[chorus] 
And even though I'm walking 
Through the valley of the shadow 
I will hold tight to the hand of Him 
Whose love will comfort me 
And when all hope is gone 
And I've been wounded in the battle 
He is all the strength that I will ever need 
He will carry me 
He will carry me

And even though I feel so lonely 
Like I have never been before 
You never said it would be easy 
But You said You'd see me through the storm

[chorus] 
And even though I'm walking 
Through the valley of the shadow 
I will hold tight to the hand of Him 
Whose love will comfort me 
And when all hope is gone 
And I've been wounded in my battle 
He is all the strength that I will ever need 
He will carry me 
He will carry me 
He will carry me

All I want is a hug....but please don't touch me.

 
I'm really sick of society shoving sex in my face.
I don't want to be thought of as an object and all I see is guys that view girls that way. I think I'm losing hope in humanity. I mean, I know there are good people out there, ones that are respectful and actually care about you instead of what you look like. But...
What happened to respect?
I'm sad that the norm seems to be that it's okay, even encouraged, to make dirty/offensive/invasive remarks to people and then that person is just expected to laugh or respond in the same way. People think you can't take a joke, or you're no fun, or you're "weird" if you don't.
Why can't people love anymore? Like really love.
Where are the ones that can?

Image by: Defies

Angry Blogger is Angry

• General Idea of this post:
  Don't write dumb stuff on people's statuss that could make them feel bad and is negative.
• No matter who it is you don't know where that person is at and how it will affect them.
  Okay....so my facebook status was just "Bored." One of my friends commented she was bored too yeah blah blah blah. About an hour later someone comments on my status that only boring people get bored according to so and so. I was rather surprised at this passive aggressive insult and simply responded with ":o"
  
  
  Now, I may have a history with this woman's daughter but this woman is also a family friend. I really wasn't expecting this to come from her as I have always seen her as a kind person. 
  Not exactly helping my "trust no one" mentality...
  Soooooo here are some various quotes on kindness:
  Never look down on anybody unless you're helping him up.
  It's nice to be important, but it's more important to be nice. ~Author Unknown
  Treat everyone with politeness, even those who are rude to you - not because they are nice, but because you are. ~Author Unknown
  If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. If you want to be happy, practice compassion. ~Dalai Lama
  Never miss an opportunity to make others happy, even if you have to leave them alone in order to do it. ~Author Unknown
  Kindness is in our power, even when fondness is not. ~Samuel Johnson
  When I was young, I admired clever people. Now that I am old, I admire kind people. ~Abraham Joshua Heschel
  and finally what I set my status to:
  You cannot do a kindness too soon, for you never know how soon it will be too late. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson  
  
  
  
  I don't like confrontation and there was no reason for one so I just picked the quote I thought least direct. I did become rather upset when I realized that this person had insulted my friend in the process of insulting me. 
  
  If you are going to insult me that is fine. Go ahead. 
  Don't you ever insult my friends. 
  *anger*
  
  
  Oh, interwebz, how lovely this life is is it not?
  
  -Melina Rose     

I am slowly becoming more encouraged...is this...excitement I am starting to feel?

This is my youth pastors reply to the note I previously posted that I sent to him.

Nice quote, awesome lady. First of all, in my experience, that reaction is usually the best sign of someone who is ready for leadership. That may seem confusing but it's true. In the Kingdom of God we don't look for leaders who are anxious but rather those who are commitment have a heart for that ministry and understand the responsibilities they would undertake. So... your response actually confirms my pick. That being said, I don't plan on throwing you under the bus. I will train you and teach you so that by the time you lead solo the only question you'll have is, "How is the Spirit moving this week?" I love your honesty and if you remain terrified after we train than we won't go any farther, but trust in your Pastor and let's find out shall we?

....................................................................................................... 

I shall continue to pray about this but I am feeling encouraged even though I am still very ..... nervous? I can't seem to find the right word. Hmm. Anyway, I am interested to see what God is going to do with this.

Current Facebook status:
You have listened to fears, Child,” said Aslan. “Come, let me breathe on you. Forget them. Are you brave again?

Current email status:
Some journeys take us far from home. Some adventures lead us to our destiny. -The Chronicles Of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe

I love the Chronicles of Narnia interwebz. Do you?

-Melina Rose

Piano is Guitar now say wa?

Dear awesome youth pastor,
I'm sorry for my reaction tonight. When you told me you are going to start easing me into being a worship leader it absolutely terrified me. I know it is a huge responsibility. You have to be a good role model because people are going to be watching you and counting on you. I can see all my faults and I don't feel like I am ready for that kind of responsibility. I don't know if God wants to challenge me in this area and push me in this direction but my initial reaction was pure stress and terror. I don't know anything about putting together sets, or what keys fit people or any of that technical stuff. I am terrified of being a leader in almost any setting but I do try sometimes.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that I really have to pray about it and are you sure that I would even be able to do it?

"Caspian: But I'm not ready!
Aslan: And that's exactly how i know you are."
— Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
(it makes me think)

-Melina Rose

Winter "Break"

Ayo
So I know I haven't posted in a few days but really not to much has been happening. I have been attempting to get myself to do my homework, hanging out with friends that are back in town, lazing around the computer and random other stuff.
I just got back a grade on an assignment I turned in and I got an A on my symphony poster! Yay!
I turned in my Editorial design as well and should get a good grade on it as well. That checks off two out of my list of eight. Now, I know that sounds steep but only two out of those remaining six are large projects. I hope to finish quite a few today. It really stinks having to think about school while you are break as well. Extended classes are no fun.
I have found that the older you get the less your "breaks" are actually breaks. If I didn't have my extended class I would be working. Yes, you still get to have fun but it seems like you can't truly relax. I start school again the eleventh and honestly, I'm kind of terrified. If everything goes according to plan I'm graduating next semester. Now most people who hear this say "Aren't you excited? Have you applied for any jobs yet? What are you going to do?" This takes me back to graduating high school and the never ending questions of so what are you doing after high school? What college are you going to? What are you majoring in? *sigh*
Anyway, I'm not truly excited to graduate because with graduation comes pressure and responsibility. Pressure to immediately find a "real" job and responsibility to fulfill peoples expectations. What if I don't want to find a job in graphic design? If I had enough money I would want to go back to school for English! But there is that endless circle. You  need money to go to school, so you can get a job, to get money. Kind of stinks.
Well, I better get back to school.

What endless circles do you have interwebz?

-Melina Rose