I'm almost afraid to post here after being away for so long. I don't want to change this place that now looks like a scrapbook bursting full of old memories. Man, I used to write so much and so openly with such thorough (somewhat boring?) detail.
I miss this place, or maybe I miss all of the times I wrote here. It's been a long time, getting close to two years.
Should I start fresh?
So much has happened interwebz.....but at the same time so little.
-Melina Rose
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Writing. Show all posts
Sunday, December 6, 2015
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
The Heart
There once was a heart. It was cracked, bruised and dry. It was kept in a metal box that sat on one end of a park bench that no one really sat on anymore.
The park was a little ways away from a school and any number of students could have paid attention to it. But they didn’t. They didn’t really give it a second glance as it sat there on its bench. A few had ventured towards it but changed their minds when they saw the large padlock on the front. It wasn’t actually locked, only jammed in a closed kind of position. The truth was that the girl who the heart belonged to didn’t have the key in the first place.
Everyday she walked by the park on her way home from school and everyday there was someone sitting by her box. She never really noticed or paid attention to it. She didn’t want anyone to know it was her heart.
Everyday he saw her walking by the park with her friends. They were always laughing and she was always smiling but there was no sparkle in her eyes.
He had been there the day she had come running into the park, by herself, holding that box. The tears constantly rolled down her cheeks as she made her way. She finally fell to her knees in front of that bench, shoulders shaking from her sobs. He watched with a heavy heart as she opened the box and placed her heart inside it. It was since that day he had sat next to the metal box on the park bench, the quiet beating barely audible.
One day, he pulled the box onto his lap and inserted a key into the lock. He turned it and heard a faint click as the jammed, partially closed lock fully opened. Setting it aside, he lifted the lid and looked in.
Tears appeared at the edges of his eyes as he saw the full condition of the heart. It was in rough shape, covered by welts and bruises. Cracks marred the once smooth membrane and it was obvious that it was in desperate need of moisture. As his tears fell, the heart became softer. It was no longer dry, watered by his tears.
It was at that moment that two feet appeared in front of him. He lifted his head to meet the girl’s slightly suspicious but vulnerable gaze.
“May I take care of it?” he asked, gesturing to the heart in his lap.
“Will you actually?” she replied, not trusting him.
“I have been all along.” He returned her searching stare with one that radiated warmth and she slowly sat down next to him. Carefully, he set the box on her lap. “Why don’t you take it out?”
The girl’s shoulders drooped slightly and hung her head before sitting up straight like she had forgotten she wasn’t allowed weakness and then was prodded back into resolute pain. “It’s safe there. Nothing can get in and hurt it.” She avoided eye contact, looking in the opposite direction.
He smiled sadly and placed his hand gently over her small, cold one. She looked back, feeling the warmth envelop it.
“Keeping your heart in this box only hurts it more. It won’t heal unless you take it out.”
The girl tried to look away as she felt tears spring to her eyes but couldn’t. There was such warmth and kindness, true love, in his eyes.
“Why isn’t it in there?” He pointed to her chest where it should have been.
“It’s defective. It betrayed me.” Her voice cracked. “It isn’t to be trusted.” she whispered to no one in particular.
“I can teach it. I can teach it to do the right things if you’ll let me.”
Steadfast
I will not say "Do not weep", for not all tears are an evil.
-Gandalf
And with that opening quote I will share with you a poem I wrote yesterday about an experience of mine. :)
It is to/about my daddy.
Steadfast
-Gandalf
And with that opening quote I will share with you a poem I wrote yesterday about an experience of mine. :)
It is to/about my daddy.
Steadfast
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Hello Wednesday
Morning :)
I woke up about the time I was supposed to today but took a bit longer to get ready than planned. Therefore, I have no substantial food substances with me. I have Chex-mix and an apple. I bought some very over-priced coffee from our school java stop and it was delicious. I needed coffee this morning. I woke up disgruntled and annoyed and had no time to make it at home. It tends to improve my mood. You see, I was dumb again and stayed up till a little after two in the morning.
I made it to my class early (thus the time to buy coffee) despite leaving late. Traffic....when will you make up your mind? The first group of people gave their speeches and I didn't have any problems paying attention. You see, our next speech is a poetry/lyric speech where we read a poem or lyrics from a song and then explain why we chose it and what it means to us.
I don't like country music to often but I enjoyed the lyrics to Rascal Flatts song "Stand" quite a bit.
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright
[Chorus:]
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand
Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Oh
Another classmate did her speech on How it Feels to Fly by Alica Keys. One speech I really enjoyed was on Psalm 23. I admired that the guy wasn't afraid to read from the Bible to our entire class and then explain about it. It's too bad I'm fairly shy about talking to the people in my class. I would like to get to know a few... My friend Persia is from that class but she had to work today. I showed her my poem that I plan to present and she really encouraged me to do it. I'm really nervous to share in front of people in the first place, let alone about a poem I wrote, but I think I'm going to do it. I'm going to push myself out of my comfort zone.
This is the poem I'm going to do:
Sailing 'Till Sunrise
By me :)
No matter what is changing
When I'm anything but sure
As long as I keep moving
It will pass me by
As I wave goodbye
To the scenery ever changing
I feel a small glimmer
Of hope within me rise
And within my eyes
As skies light grows dimmer
I see a mournful ship
Sailing 'till sunrise
Our ever thinking minds
Into mine I dip
I search for the answer
All seem like taunting lies
Will I ever find
A way to kill this cancer
That lies within my heart
Wreaking havoc inside
"In me confide."
A voice whispers int he dark
My heart soars
But then I fear and hide
"Please come to my side."
There are steps int he corridor
They echo inside me
Making me cry
So gentle and kind
Yet I don't want to see
That if I just let go
Things will get better in time
{End}
Yeah, so that's my poem. It's very personal but I'm going to share it with my class. I think I'll probably just write some thoughts down to go with it so I don't blank out completely from being so nervous. Wish me luck?
Anyway, later today, after Japanese is done, I'm going to go to youthgroup! What's the big deal, you go every week? Yes, I know, but this week is preparation for a giant event our church puts on! Our whole youth group is getting together to pack bags of food for people who need it. They will be distributed on Saturday with other things like clothes, toys, furniture, etc. It is a lot of fun and goes all day.
A friend from school here is coming, as well as Mnonaa and Bree. It should be fun but I'm a tiny bit nervous since my school friend is coming.
I'm going to work on my speech now interwebz,
-Melina Rose
I woke up about the time I was supposed to today but took a bit longer to get ready than planned. Therefore, I have no substantial food substances with me. I have Chex-mix and an apple. I bought some very over-priced coffee from our school java stop and it was delicious. I needed coffee this morning. I woke up disgruntled and annoyed and had no time to make it at home. It tends to improve my mood. You see, I was dumb again and stayed up till a little after two in the morning.
I made it to my class early (thus the time to buy coffee) despite leaving late. Traffic....when will you make up your mind? The first group of people gave their speeches and I didn't have any problems paying attention. You see, our next speech is a poetry/lyric speech where we read a poem or lyrics from a song and then explain why we chose it and what it means to us.
I don't like country music to often but I enjoyed the lyrics to Rascal Flatts song "Stand" quite a bit.
You feel like a candle in a hurricane
Just like a picture with a broken frame
Alone and helpless
Like you've lost your fight
But you'll be alright, you'll be alright
[Chorus:]
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend, till you break
Cause its all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad you get strong
Wipe your hands shake it off
Then you Stand, Then you stand
Life's like a novel
With the end ripped out
The edge of a canyon
With only one way down
Take what you're given before its gone
Start holding on, keep holding on
Cause when push comes to shove
You taste what you're made of
You might bend till you break
Cause it's all you can take
On your knees you look up
Decide you've had enough
You get mad, you get strong
Wipe your hands, shake it off
Then you stand, then you stand
Everytime you get up
And get back in the race
One more small piece of you
Starts to fall into place
Oh
Another classmate did her speech on How it Feels to Fly by Alica Keys. One speech I really enjoyed was on Psalm 23. I admired that the guy wasn't afraid to read from the Bible to our entire class and then explain about it. It's too bad I'm fairly shy about talking to the people in my class. I would like to get to know a few... My friend Persia is from that class but she had to work today. I showed her my poem that I plan to present and she really encouraged me to do it. I'm really nervous to share in front of people in the first place, let alone about a poem I wrote, but I think I'm going to do it. I'm going to push myself out of my comfort zone.
This is the poem I'm going to do:
Sailing 'Till Sunrise
By me :)
No matter what is changing
When I'm anything but sure
As long as I keep moving
It will pass me by
As I wave goodbye
To the scenery ever changing
I feel a small glimmer
Of hope within me rise
And within my eyes
As skies light grows dimmer
I see a mournful ship
Sailing 'till sunrise
Our ever thinking minds
Into mine I dip
I search for the answer
All seem like taunting lies
Will I ever find
A way to kill this cancer
That lies within my heart
Wreaking havoc inside
"In me confide."
A voice whispers int he dark
My heart soars
But then I fear and hide
"Please come to my side."
There are steps int he corridor
They echo inside me
Making me cry
So gentle and kind
Yet I don't want to see
That if I just let go
Things will get better in time
{End}
Yeah, so that's my poem. It's very personal but I'm going to share it with my class. I think I'll probably just write some thoughts down to go with it so I don't blank out completely from being so nervous. Wish me luck?
Anyway, later today, after Japanese is done, I'm going to go to youthgroup! What's the big deal, you go every week? Yes, I know, but this week is preparation for a giant event our church puts on! Our whole youth group is getting together to pack bags of food for people who need it. They will be distributed on Saturday with other things like clothes, toys, furniture, etc. It is a lot of fun and goes all day.
A friend from school here is coming, as well as Mnonaa and Bree. It should be fun but I'm a tiny bit nervous since my school friend is coming.
I'm going to work on my speech now interwebz,
-Melina Rose
Friday, August 19, 2011
Chips. Healthy lunch I know.
Ello my lovelies.
A lot has happened since my last posts in July and there is a lot that I haven't told you. So I'm going to do my best and just tell it as it is. If you don't want to read the following I won't blame you. I treat my blog more like a journal than something for you guys....sorry.
The trip in July to California was to visit my grandparents. It was the last time I was going to see my grandpa before he died. That night was really hard. There wasn't really a goodbye. We just said I love you as he shuffled into the back bedroom. I cried the whole way back to the house. No one noticed.
You see, my grandpa had cancer. They said he had a few weeks. I returned to Wisconsin after the end of the trip and continued with the normal stuffs there. My parents texted me one morning before work to tell me that he would be passing in the next few days. He passed that night while I was at work. My parent's text read something like "There is an email from Grandma you will want to read. We love you." I knew what it was going to say before I read it. I managed to finish my shift. I thought I would be fine but I could tell that I was having a hard time as I finished up. I clocked out, walked outside and as soon as I got to my truck just lost it. I was just like....really? here? in your work parkinglot.... get it together! But no, there I was clinging to the truckbed sobbing my face off. I hate crying.
The rest of my time in Wisconsin was great. :) Sephre and I crammed a bunch of fun stuff into the time we had left. Photoshoots, trips to the asian market, vlogging, antique stores, goofing off, pilates, all that good stuff.
There was the usual stress of packing my stuff up and trying to organize stuff to go back home, getting ready for the wedding I was in, and worrying about the funeral/memorial service. For a while we thought that both Sephre and I would maybe be able to go together but I turned out she couldn't make it. :(
After one last trip to the asian market before I left, we packed up the truck with the extremely confusing and complicated straps (go us) and I made the 6 hour drive home leaving my sister cousin behind. I was sad to leave.
I ended up stopping a lot. I had to add the tarp to the contraption so that my stuff wouldn't get soaked and it took me two tries. The first try was probably about half and hour and the second an hour. It was deathly hot and I was glad to get back into the air-conditioned cab. After that I really didn't want to make anymore stops so I pretty much drove straight through.
Once I got home and unloaded the truck with my daddy I think I just went to bed. I was so tired. The next day I went to worship practice after attempting to unpack everything. It was just Bree, Cheese, Piggy and me but it was good.
We left for Oregon the next day. The day after we arrived was the wedding rehearsal. There were two days to just hang out and then there was the wedding. It was amazing. I would have to say my two favorite moments from that part of our trip would be when I helped my other cousin with his songwriting and the wedding reception. We went to bed soon after leaving the reception. Two hours of sleep later we were at the airport to catch our flight to California.
We arrived in Cali and got some In-n-Out burger. The wake/viewing was that evening but thankfully I didn't have to go. I am very tired of seeing dead bodies and I didn't need the closer. I stayed at my aunt and uncle's house with my cousins instead. Dinner was had and the next day was the memorial service. It was the hardest funeral I have ever been to. I had six people die last year and didn't cry for any of the funerals. Tears were shed at this one. Quite a few. Moving on though. It was good to see family again (even though I had just seen them) and I enjoyed being squished in a limo with my two cousins and the rest of my side of the family. It was their first funeral. I can't imagine.
We went home the next day and I went straight to the County fair with friends. After that I had a sleep-over at Mnonaa's house with Bob.
The next day I went to the beach with Tallkid and hung out for the rest of the day adding Bree laterish for a Target run. I eventually slept over at her house.
Since then it's been fairly busy. I have slept at my own house twice since being home from the trip. Tallkid left yesterday for school and Bob leaves today. St. still goes to college a fair distance away and Mnonaa is a fair distance as well. Everyone's busy.
I'm back to my old work here and that is going well. I got lots of hours my first week back which is good because I need the money. I got my textbooks for around $100 which was a shock and a happy one at that. I'm going to buy myself a nice new backpack. :)
I work 6-c tonight and start school on Monday. 8am class 45 minutes away! wooo
I came home this morning and tried to catch up on all of the blog posts I've missed from the people I follow. Since it started a few months ago it will take me a while. I got a load of laundry done, put away my luggage, and plan to run to Target and Khols right about now.
There's been more that's been going on than that but that is my update for you. You can email me if you really want more.
Until later interwebz
-Melina Rose
A lot has happened since my last posts in July and there is a lot that I haven't told you. So I'm going to do my best and just tell it as it is. If you don't want to read the following I won't blame you. I treat my blog more like a journal than something for you guys....sorry.
The trip in July to California was to visit my grandparents. It was the last time I was going to see my grandpa before he died. That night was really hard. There wasn't really a goodbye. We just said I love you as he shuffled into the back bedroom. I cried the whole way back to the house. No one noticed.
You see, my grandpa had cancer. They said he had a few weeks. I returned to Wisconsin after the end of the trip and continued with the normal stuffs there. My parents texted me one morning before work to tell me that he would be passing in the next few days. He passed that night while I was at work. My parent's text read something like "There is an email from Grandma you will want to read. We love you." I knew what it was going to say before I read it. I managed to finish my shift. I thought I would be fine but I could tell that I was having a hard time as I finished up. I clocked out, walked outside and as soon as I got to my truck just lost it. I was just like....really? here? in your work parkinglot.... get it together! But no, there I was clinging to the truckbed sobbing my face off. I hate crying.
The rest of my time in Wisconsin was great. :) Sephre and I crammed a bunch of fun stuff into the time we had left. Photoshoots, trips to the asian market, vlogging, antique stores, goofing off, pilates, all that good stuff.
There was the usual stress of packing my stuff up and trying to organize stuff to go back home, getting ready for the wedding I was in, and worrying about the funeral/memorial service. For a while we thought that both Sephre and I would maybe be able to go together but I turned out she couldn't make it. :(
After one last trip to the asian market before I left, we packed up the truck with the extremely confusing and complicated straps (go us) and I made the 6 hour drive home leaving my sister cousin behind. I was sad to leave.
I ended up stopping a lot. I had to add the tarp to the contraption so that my stuff wouldn't get soaked and it took me two tries. The first try was probably about half and hour and the second an hour. It was deathly hot and I was glad to get back into the air-conditioned cab. After that I really didn't want to make anymore stops so I pretty much drove straight through.
Once I got home and unloaded the truck with my daddy I think I just went to bed. I was so tired. The next day I went to worship practice after attempting to unpack everything. It was just Bree, Cheese, Piggy and me but it was good.
We left for Oregon the next day. The day after we arrived was the wedding rehearsal. There were two days to just hang out and then there was the wedding. It was amazing. I would have to say my two favorite moments from that part of our trip would be when I helped my other cousin with his songwriting and the wedding reception. We went to bed soon after leaving the reception. Two hours of sleep later we were at the airport to catch our flight to California.
We arrived in Cali and got some In-n-Out burger. The wake/viewing was that evening but thankfully I didn't have to go. I am very tired of seeing dead bodies and I didn't need the closer. I stayed at my aunt and uncle's house with my cousins instead. Dinner was had and the next day was the memorial service. It was the hardest funeral I have ever been to. I had six people die last year and didn't cry for any of the funerals. Tears were shed at this one. Quite a few. Moving on though. It was good to see family again (even though I had just seen them) and I enjoyed being squished in a limo with my two cousins and the rest of my side of the family. It was their first funeral. I can't imagine.
We went home the next day and I went straight to the County fair with friends. After that I had a sleep-over at Mnonaa's house with Bob.
The next day I went to the beach with Tallkid and hung out for the rest of the day adding Bree laterish for a Target run. I eventually slept over at her house.
Since then it's been fairly busy. I have slept at my own house twice since being home from the trip. Tallkid left yesterday for school and Bob leaves today. St. still goes to college a fair distance away and Mnonaa is a fair distance as well. Everyone's busy.
I'm back to my old work here and that is going well. I got lots of hours my first week back which is good because I need the money. I got my textbooks for around $100 which was a shock and a happy one at that. I'm going to buy myself a nice new backpack. :)
I work 6-c tonight and start school on Monday. 8am class 45 minutes away! wooo
I came home this morning and tried to catch up on all of the blog posts I've missed from the people I follow. Since it started a few months ago it will take me a while. I got a load of laundry done, put away my luggage, and plan to run to Target and Khols right about now.
There's been more that's been going on than that but that is my update for you. You can email me if you really want more.
Until later interwebz
-Melina Rose
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Take off
I'm tired. I close my eyes as our plane waits for it's turn on the runway. Another plane lands and we turn, lining up with the long stretch, streaked with black marks from incoming planes. We sit, waiting. The engines whine and we begin our quick, swaying journey down the designated route. I yawn as we lift into the air smoothly, feeling gravity pull me heavily into my seat. The city is so small from my window. Goodbye Minnesota. I yawn again as I settle in for our few-hour flight to California.
Long time no see
Terribly sorry it has been so long. I plan to keep up better as of now.
I've mostly working but I also took a trip to California to visit my Grandparents. I've had a lot on my mind lately. A bit to much to put here.
Oh! My birthday! Haha I almost forgot about it which doesn't happen to often. I worked, got off early, went on a walk by myself in a new dress I got, caught fireflies, named them, danced around in the dark yard like a dork, and replied to the posts on my wall. That's about it. It was a good birthday :)
Today?
Today I slept until 4pm. My body just needed the sleep I guess. I didn't go to bed late or anything.... When I got up I started a load of laundry, did a little cleaning, took a shower, wrote a bit, talked to a few friends on facebook, and texted my Daddy. My Aunt came home and I caught up with her a bit, brought some of my laundry up from the basement, and lazed around on the computer while eating dinner. I'm still doing that actually... *shrugs*
It's in the 90s outside so I don't really feel like going for a walk. (Even though I do feel like going for a walk.) You know what I mean.
I just remembered that I wrote a post on the plane to California... (I tried to sleep on the way home.)
I think I will find that notebook and post it.
Once again sorry for my absence interwebz
-Melina Rose
I've mostly working but I also took a trip to California to visit my Grandparents. I've had a lot on my mind lately. A bit to much to put here.
Oh! My birthday! Haha I almost forgot about it which doesn't happen to often. I worked, got off early, went on a walk by myself in a new dress I got, caught fireflies, named them, danced around in the dark yard like a dork, and replied to the posts on my wall. That's about it. It was a good birthday :)
Today?
Today I slept until 4pm. My body just needed the sleep I guess. I didn't go to bed late or anything.... When I got up I started a load of laundry, did a little cleaning, took a shower, wrote a bit, talked to a few friends on facebook, and texted my Daddy. My Aunt came home and I caught up with her a bit, brought some of my laundry up from the basement, and lazed around on the computer while eating dinner. I'm still doing that actually... *shrugs*
It's in the 90s outside so I don't really feel like going for a walk. (Even though I do feel like going for a walk.) You know what I mean.
I just remembered that I wrote a post on the plane to California... (I tried to sleep on the way home.)
I think I will find that notebook and post it.
Once again sorry for my absence interwebz
-Melina Rose
Saturday, June 25, 2011
When in the course of human events it becomes necessary...
Independence day is coming up soon and after church tonight, it has me thinking about fighting for what we believe in.
When we see something not right do we fight against it? Do we stand up for what we believe in? Do we try to encourage the ones who are struggling?
This world has many things wrong in it and younger people today don't even realize it. They have it taught to them at a young age what our culture expects from them and what is "normal".
I have been reading on this site where people write anonymous letters to their crushes and some are really heartbreaking. Some are beautiful. Some are twisted.
There was one entry that really caught my eye though and I'm going to put it here.
I feel like the whole world is pressuring me into having my first relationship and falling in love and having sex and yet I am not interested in anyone and no one is interested in me so here I sit feeling dull and inadequate all because love and sex is all anyone can talk about and I'm sick of it because I can't empathize with any of it and no one can empathize with me.
I have always found it rather obvious that our culture focuses on this. I mean, you turn on the tv and it isn't even the shows you have to watch out for. The commercials are filled with it. Those subtle voices screaming at you, "Buy this and be beautiful." "If you look this way people will love you." "You need this product for people to accept you." The message off so many of these commercials are "If no one is coming on to you then you are worthless."
It really breaks my heart to see girls just 15 years old saying things like "I've never kissed anyone. Something must be wrong with me." NO!
You are beautiful! You are precious! You are favored by the King and someone will always love you.
Don't let this world tell you differently.
With love to all of you beautiful people out there (YES! YOU!)
-Melina Rose
When we see something not right do we fight against it? Do we stand up for what we believe in? Do we try to encourage the ones who are struggling?
This world has many things wrong in it and younger people today don't even realize it. They have it taught to them at a young age what our culture expects from them and what is "normal".
I have been reading on this site where people write anonymous letters to their crushes and some are really heartbreaking. Some are beautiful. Some are twisted.
There was one entry that really caught my eye though and I'm going to put it here.
I feel like the whole world is pressuring me into having my first relationship and falling in love and having sex and yet I am not interested in anyone and no one is interested in me so here I sit feeling dull and inadequate all because love and sex is all anyone can talk about and I'm sick of it because I can't empathize with any of it and no one can empathize with me.
I have always found it rather obvious that our culture focuses on this. I mean, you turn on the tv and it isn't even the shows you have to watch out for. The commercials are filled with it. Those subtle voices screaming at you, "Buy this and be beautiful." "If you look this way people will love you." "You need this product for people to accept you." The message off so many of these commercials are "If no one is coming on to you then you are worthless."
It really breaks my heart to see girls just 15 years old saying things like "I've never kissed anyone. Something must be wrong with me." NO!
You are beautiful! You are precious! You are favored by the King and someone will always love you.
Don't let this world tell you differently.
With love to all of you beautiful people out there (YES! YOU!)
-Melina Rose
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Someday
Someday, in my made up future, I will wake up to the birds singing and the sunlight streaming through my window. Smiling, I will slip out from between my covers and stretch, fingers towards the ceiling, before walking into the kitchen. I will make myself a delicious, healthy, breakfast and eat it outside in the morning air. After putting the dishes away, getting dressed and pulling my hair back, I will go and sit down at my deep, black, grand piano and let all of my thoughts and feelings flow out of my fingertips until they echo in the air.
Maybe I will laugh, a smile on my face. Maybe I will cry, tears escaping with each note.
And after I'm done, and there is nothing left to be said, I will close that gorgeous piano back up. I will close the doors to the room where the emotions still hover thick in the air, and I will step into the breathtaking sunshine. Eyes closed, I will listen, waiting for your response.
-Melina Rose
Maybe I will laugh, a smile on my face. Maybe I will cry, tears escaping with each note.
And after I'm done, and there is nothing left to be said, I will close that gorgeous piano back up. I will close the doors to the room where the emotions still hover thick in the air, and I will step into the breathtaking sunshine. Eyes closed, I will listen, waiting for your response.
-Melina Rose
Thursday, June 9, 2011
My first google guitar song :P
Hello my dear blogging world.
As you can tell I've been rather busy and tired.
Mleh....
I worked today. It was actually rather cold outside (and inside too). There really isn't much of anything interesting that has happened today. All I did was work, stalk people on Facebook and write some tidbits. I mean, now I'm writing this but...yeah that's pretty much been it.
I'm thinking I'm going to take a nap. It gives me multiple good side effects. 1) Rest/Energy 2) Escape from thoughts 3) The two previously listed reasons! They are good enough! lol
Maybe I will read my book when I wake up...I miss reading for fun. I'm too tired right now though...
See ya later interwebz
-Melina Rose
Hello my dear blogging world.
As you can tell I've been rather busy and tired.
Mleh....
I worked today. It was actually rather cold outside (and inside too). There really isn't much of anything interesting that has happened today. All I did was work, stalk people on Facebook and write some tidbits. I mean, now I'm writing this but...yeah that's pretty much been it.
I'm thinking I'm going to take a nap. It gives me multiple good side effects. 1) Rest/Energy 2) Escape from thoughts 3) The two previously listed reasons! They are good enough! lol
Maybe I will read my book when I wake up...I miss reading for fun. I'm too tired right now though...
See ya later interwebz
-Melina Rose
But why are you here?
I worked 10-4 today. They decided to send the girl from Minnesota to find the store and get (a very specific kind) of burger buns. Haaa.... Came home really nasty from work and took the best cold shower ever. (It is/was really hot outside) Sephre got back and we did some stuff together and started dinner. She saw that I was exhausted and commanded me to go take a nap saying that she would wake me up for dinner.
This is what I've been told:
She came in to wake me up and thought I was kidding because I wouldn't respond. She yelled, poked, jabbed, made my phone ring and finally shook me rather roughly. Nothing worked except for the last one I opened my eyes. She told me that dinner was ready and all I said was "but why are you here?" LOL At that point she decided that I really needed the sleep and just left me there until I woke up by myself.
I honestly remember none of this.
Once I woke up I had steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans. For dessert, we had brownies and milk. We watched a movie about the life of Jane Austen and then Sephre and I went upstairs to work on catching up on vlog material. We have a ton to catch up but we put one together... I started my work uniform washing and it is in the dryer now.
I guess I'm feeling a little....something I don't know...I can't think of the right word to describe it. I just know that I'm missing people. It's not the "Oh I really miss people" feeling though. Ugh. Can't describe adequately.
I work later today (since it is past midnight now) and then Sephre and I are gonna hang out and do something fun. Not sure what.... lol Maybe we will go swimming? It has been storming since (now yesterday) evening and it is supposed to last through today. It has been incredibly hot every day this week. Always in the 90s. It is currently 63 degrees which is our low for today. I'm sure it will heat back up in the morning.
I'm going to sleep interwebz. Goodnight...
-Melina Rose
This is what I've been told:
She came in to wake me up and thought I was kidding because I wouldn't respond. She yelled, poked, jabbed, made my phone ring and finally shook me rather roughly. Nothing worked except for the last one I opened my eyes. She told me that dinner was ready and all I said was "but why are you here?" LOL At that point she decided that I really needed the sleep and just left me there until I woke up by myself.
I honestly remember none of this.
Once I woke up I had steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans. For dessert, we had brownies and milk. We watched a movie about the life of Jane Austen and then Sephre and I went upstairs to work on catching up on vlog material. We have a ton to catch up but we put one together... I started my work uniform washing and it is in the dryer now.
I guess I'm feeling a little....something I don't know...I can't think of the right word to describe it. I just know that I'm missing people. It's not the "Oh I really miss people" feeling though. Ugh. Can't describe adequately.
I work later today (since it is past midnight now) and then Sephre and I are gonna hang out and do something fun. Not sure what.... lol Maybe we will go swimming? It has been storming since (now yesterday) evening and it is supposed to last through today. It has been incredibly hot every day this week. Always in the 90s. It is currently 63 degrees which is our low for today. I'm sure it will heat back up in the morning.
I'm going to sleep interwebz. Goodnight...
-Melina Rose
Monday, May 2, 2011
Bad day doesn't even cover it
I'm so wiped out. I have been pushing myself as hard as I can and I think I have run out of energy just short of when that would be ok. Day after tomorrow is portfolio show. My portfolio hates me. I have to print it all tomorrow and assemble it. I have no energy to function, in fact I'm not sure why I'm updating my blog.
I'm driving home now. Not sure how safe that is but I have to get there somehow lol. I have a four page essay due Wednesday. My final Flash project is due tomorrow. Neither have been started. Both will probably be failed. I just can't get everything I need to done.
All I want to do is sleep interwebz. That's all.
-Melina Rose
I'm driving home now. Not sure how safe that is but I have to get there somehow lol. I have a four page essay due Wednesday. My final Flash project is due tomorrow. Neither have been started. Both will probably be failed. I just can't get everything I need to done.
All I want to do is sleep interwebz. That's all.
-Melina Rose
Monday, April 4, 2011
Not quite lonely...but kinda.
I'm back from lunch :)
I'm working on a short story for school. I figured out the main characters names. Yes, this is an important part for me. My characters names always have meaning. I guess it is one of my quirks but I really enjoy naming the characters in my story. I have two baby name books just for that purpose and I will always remember the look that cashier gave me when I bought my latest one. Hahaha.
Anyway.... I feel kind of lonely. I'm not sure why but *shrugs* that is how it is. None of my friends are online. I mean, yes, I need to be doing my homework but I miss me friends. I need to get caught up so I can visit Bob in New York. I miss you Bob!!
Well, I'm gonna ignore this feeling and work on school. Dwelling on it won't accomplish anything. Getting my homework done will.
Until later interwebz
-Melina Rose
I'm working on a short story for school. I figured out the main characters names. Yes, this is an important part for me. My characters names always have meaning. I guess it is one of my quirks but I really enjoy naming the characters in my story. I have two baby name books just for that purpose and I will always remember the look that cashier gave me when I bought my latest one. Hahaha.
Anyway.... I feel kind of lonely. I'm not sure why but *shrugs* that is how it is. None of my friends are online. I mean, yes, I need to be doing my homework but I miss me friends. I need to get caught up so I can visit Bob in New York. I miss you Bob!!
Well, I'm gonna ignore this feeling and work on school. Dwelling on it won't accomplish anything. Getting my homework done will.
Until later interwebz
-Melina Rose
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
I literally told my friend I hope I have a disorder because I don't want to be this stupid
I know, I know, I'm not "stupid" but I sure feel like it.
I managed to watch TV for an hour and a half last night before staying up until 4:30am. My subconscious has also instructed me that I will not be attending any of my 8am classes this week. I have my first essay of the semester due in my incredibly intense Composition class at 1pm so I am working on cranking out a new draft of a hopefully impressive essay to turn in.
1 Cup of coffee? check
1 ipod with upbeat encouraging music? check
6 drafts of said essay scattered around me? check
4 pencils 2 highlighters and 1 pen? check
Determination? check
Progress? check
Finished essay ready to turn in? ____
Lets get that last one interwebz
-Melina Rose
I managed to watch TV for an hour and a half last night before staying up until 4:30am. My subconscious has also instructed me that I will not be attending any of my 8am classes this week. I have my first essay of the semester due in my incredibly intense Composition class at 1pm so I am working on cranking out a new draft of a hopefully impressive essay to turn in.
1 Cup of coffee? check
1 ipod with upbeat encouraging music? check
6 drafts of said essay scattered around me? check
4 pencils 2 highlighters and 1 pen? check
Determination? check
Progress? check
Finished essay ready to turn in? ____
Lets get that last one interwebz
-Melina Rose
Monday, March 28, 2011
but it got better :)
So far today I have accomplished the following things:
- I turned in my resume research paper
- I turned in my 20 questions
- I ate a protein bar for lunch
- I did 3 discussion boards for creative writing
- I showered
- I cleaned my bathroom
- I wrote a freewrite for creative writing
- I went through the peer review discussion board for creative writing
- I ate an apple with peanut butter
- I sent in my work hours
- I edited a few photos
So today hasn't been to great...
I woke up at 8:35am this morning. My 1hr class starts at 8am. I got to school at 9am. This class meets once a week so attendance is kind of important. I turned in my research paper and 20 questions and headed to the computer lab to do my resume. Even after restarting the computer, it wouldn't let me log in. I decided to head home to do what homework I could there. At this point I was feeling incredibly discouraged. This was not a good way to wake up and start my day, feeling hopeless and like a failure.
I climbed in my truck and turned the key in the ignition. The bars on the radio started moving and this song came on. Being the emotional sob that I am, as soon as the song got to the point where it said don't cry, I had tears streaming down my face. It is an encouraging song.
It's okay if you can't go
And changed what happened
it was just a bad day
And you know everybody has them
I get it when you say
You feel like everyone's passed you over
But it's not too late
Pick the weight up off your shoulders
I'm coming to take you away
To the place where pain won't find you
I'm coming to take you away
So leave the weight of the world behind you
And you know nothing's too far
Nothing's too hard
I'll always be there
I'm coming to take you away
Don't cry cause you know that you're not alone
Now, let me dry your eyes
Now it's time that you finally find out
There will always be a new day
At the end of every hard one
Now I'm on my way
So I can be the help you start one
I'm coming to take you away
To the place where pain won't find you
I'm coming to take you away
So leave the weight of the world behind you
And you know nothing's too far
Nothing's too hard
I'll always be there
I'm coming to take you away
To take you away
I'm coming to get you
So leave your bags at the hall
That held you down
You can't pack for the place we're going now
It doesn't matter what's going on
I'm the one to get you out
I'm going to take you
Where the sun lights up your face
Where you can't remember yesterday
'Till the hurt has been replaced
I'm coming to take you away
I'm coming to take you away
So leave the weight of the world behind you
And you know nothing's too far
Nothing's too hard
I'll always be there
I'm coming to take you away
Take you away
Unfortunately I'm not encouraged.
I climbed in my truck and turned the key in the ignition. The bars on the radio started moving and this song came on. Being the emotional sob that I am, as soon as the song got to the point where it said don't cry, I had tears streaming down my face. It is an encouraging song.
It's okay if you can't go
And changed what happened
it was just a bad day
And you know everybody has them
I get it when you say
You feel like everyone's passed you over
But it's not too late
Pick the weight up off your shoulders
I'm coming to take you away
To the place where pain won't find you
I'm coming to take you away
So leave the weight of the world behind you
And you know nothing's too far
Nothing's too hard
I'll always be there
I'm coming to take you away
Don't cry cause you know that you're not alone
Now, let me dry your eyes
Now it's time that you finally find out
There will always be a new day
At the end of every hard one
Now I'm on my way
So I can be the help you start one
I'm coming to take you away
To the place where pain won't find you
I'm coming to take you away
So leave the weight of the world behind you
And you know nothing's too far
Nothing's too hard
I'll always be there
I'm coming to take you away
To take you away
I'm coming to get you
So leave your bags at the hall
That held you down
You can't pack for the place we're going now
It doesn't matter what's going on
I'm the one to get you out
I'm going to take you
Where the sun lights up your face
Where you can't remember yesterday
'Till the hurt has been replaced
I'm coming to take you away
I'm coming to take you away
So leave the weight of the world behind you
And you know nothing's too far
Nothing's too hard
I'll always be there
I'm coming to take you away
Take you away
Unfortunately I'm not encouraged.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Just keep swimming
Hey there!
I'm sorry that I haven't been posting very much on this blog. I just caught up with my posts on my other blog. I got up for my 8am class this morning and dragged myself there. In the coming days and weeks I will be experiencing living death. So exciting! Despite that I have managed to keep a good attitude so far. I missed class last week because I slept through my alarm so I didn't know about our assignment. The three people that didn't do it (including me) were thoroughly chewed out. Our teacher can be pretty harsh at times. While the other people in my class were participating in the activity, I revised my cover letter and turned it in again. When class was ending, I went up to talk to my teacher and just honestly told her straight out what was going on. For about a minute she softened and I could tell that she cares. I told her that I was pretty much terrified of graduation and I had been lying to myself. She told me that everyone was at some point or another and it is to be expected but graduation isn't half as terrifying as her if I don't get my work in. Touche. lol
I headed home and cleaned my room. I have found that my mother was right when she said a cluttered room presses on your brain when you are trying to concentrate on things. My room is clean now and I feel like I can breathe.
I have many things to work on today. I have a four page research paper that was due five weeks ago.Don't judge me. I also have a resume to put together, a web banner to finish, and a 3 page descriptive essay. So off I go.
If you click this picture it moves... :P
Just keep swimming interwebz :)
-Melina Rose
I'm sorry that I haven't been posting very much on this blog. I just caught up with my posts on my other blog. I got up for my 8am class this morning and dragged myself there. In the coming days and weeks I will be experiencing living death. So exciting! Despite that I have managed to keep a good attitude so far. I missed class last week because I slept through my alarm so I didn't know about our assignment. The three people that didn't do it (including me) were thoroughly chewed out. Our teacher can be pretty harsh at times. While the other people in my class were participating in the activity, I revised my cover letter and turned it in again. When class was ending, I went up to talk to my teacher and just honestly told her straight out what was going on. For about a minute she softened and I could tell that she cares. I told her that I was pretty much terrified of graduation and I had been lying to myself. She told me that everyone was at some point or another and it is to be expected but graduation isn't half as terrifying as her if I don't get my work in. Touche. lol
I headed home and cleaned my room. I have found that my mother was right when she said a cluttered room presses on your brain when you are trying to concentrate on things. My room is clean now and I feel like I can breathe.
I have many things to work on today. I have a four page research paper that was due five weeks ago.
If you click this picture it moves... :P
Just keep swimming interwebz :)
-Melina Rose
Dear Betsy, (an entry in my diary)
March 20, 2011 12:08am-12:20am
Dear Betsy,
I'm sorry it has been so long since I have written, almost a year! I am 19.5 now. 5'7", 126.5 lbs and my hair (when straightened) is around an inch from ending in the middle of my lower back.
I am still going to (insert school here) through not for much longer. If I don't goof this up, I graduate in May with an associates in Graphic Design Technology.
This is not exactly why I am writing to you though. You see, I have been running. Not because I thought it would help; I knew it wouldn't, but because I was scared, terrified actually. When I graduate, and even before, I have a lot of foreign things to deal with. Interviews, Portfolio shows, deciding how I am going to accomplish my goals in life, all of these things just start crushing down on me and I feel like it is hopeless and it would be easier to give up. In reality, I know it isn't. It only would make it harder. So here goes nothing?
In the wise words of a fish:
Just keep swimming. :)
Night Betsy :)
Dear Betsy,
I'm sorry it has been so long since I have written, almost a year! I am 19.5 now. 5'7", 126.5 lbs and my hair (when straightened) is around an inch from ending in the middle of my lower back.
I am still going to (insert school here) through not for much longer. If I don't goof this up, I graduate in May with an associates in Graphic Design Technology.
This is not exactly why I am writing to you though. You see, I have been running. Not because I thought it would help; I knew it wouldn't, but because I was scared, terrified actually. When I graduate, and even before, I have a lot of foreign things to deal with. Interviews, Portfolio shows, deciding how I am going to accomplish my goals in life, all of these things just start crushing down on me and I feel like it is hopeless and it would be easier to give up. In reality, I know it isn't. It only would make it harder. So here goes nothing?
In the wise words of a fish:
Just keep swimming. :)
Night Betsy :)
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
I know you aren't dead. What happened?
Do you ever have somone that you like to talk to and suddenly you have no contact with them? I mean, they are active on facebook, youtube, and other sites but they don't respond to you. I am rather confused and really sad. I miss you Sephre. Where did you go?
Lately I have been feeling really listless and a little hopeless. I am still sick and randomly feel really tired yet when I should be sleeping I'm wide awake. I haven't been updating my other blog really. I don't find much reason to since the one who is supposed to look at it hasn't. I know people get busy but I haven't heard from them at all in more than a week. Sorry, I keep going back to that. It is bothering me right now.
I have written two more chapters of my story. It is totalling 11,183 words right now. Woo.
I'm really behind in two of my classes. They happen to be the important ones. *sigh* I need to get a large dose of motivation somehow. Does anyone have any for me? I'm so discouraged that I guess I just feel "why try?" I know that is wrong. I just need to kick myself into gear and get everything done.
I don't know interwebz
-Melina Rose
Lately I have been feeling really listless and a little hopeless. I am still sick and randomly feel really tired yet when I should be sleeping I'm wide awake. I haven't been updating my other blog really. I don't find much reason to since the one who is supposed to look at it hasn't. I know people get busy but I haven't heard from them at all in more than a week. Sorry, I keep going back to that. It is bothering me right now.
I have written two more chapters of my story. It is totalling 11,183 words right now. Woo.
I'm really behind in two of my classes. They happen to be the important ones. *sigh* I need to get a large dose of motivation somehow. Does anyone have any for me? I'm so discouraged that I guess I just feel "why try?" I know that is wrong. I just need to kick myself into gear and get everything done.
I don't know interwebz
-Melina Rose
Monday, February 28, 2011
Go buy a suit......with what money?
I woke up this morning about two minutes from when I have to leave for my eight o'clock class. I threw on some clean clothes, checked the mirror to make sure I didn't look like a monster who got tickled and then thrown into a static machine. My hair was ok but I kind of just rubbed my eyes and gave up any semblance of hope for makeup.
I ran downstairs and threw my stuff in my bag. A frantic search for my keys revealed them in my purse, which was in the bottom of my bag.
I carefully stepped out on my ice-rink driveway and made my way to my truck. Thankfully it started up after one try. I got the scraper and proceeded to try to chip the ice off of my windshield. It didn't work. I went between banging my head against the steering wheel while trying to regain feeling in my fingers and attacking my windshield with my mom's scraper.
After half an hour it was defrosted enough for safe driving and I was off. I arrived at school and parked to close to another truck. I managed to not touch it even squeezing between the two with my backpack. I slipped a total of three times on my way into school. It is super icy today. I made it into class and about one minute later my name was called for attendance.
I learned about interviews and I now need to buy a suit. Navy blue is a power color I guess. I don't mind getting a suit since I know I will use it for a long time, but I really don't have money right now. :( Bummer.....
After class ended I worked on homework. I wrote up my two page applications paper and turned it in. Another class came in and it was full so I moved to where I am now, the computer lab. I just recently finished my cover letter and turned it in. I am now off to get something to eat at home.
The rest of the day after that consists of filling out some paperwork for scholarships, going to the phone store for them to fix the charging part of my phone, sending in my work hours, and finally going to Glitter and Crumbs to possibly decorate cookies. *takes a deep breath and lets it out*
Busy day interwebz so off I go!
-Melina Rose
I ran downstairs and threw my stuff in my bag. A frantic search for my keys revealed them in my purse, which was in the bottom of my bag.
I carefully stepped out on my ice-rink driveway and made my way to my truck. Thankfully it started up after one try. I got the scraper and proceeded to try to chip the ice off of my windshield. It didn't work. I went between banging my head against the steering wheel while trying to regain feeling in my fingers and attacking my windshield with my mom's scraper.
After half an hour it was defrosted enough for safe driving and I was off. I arrived at school and parked to close to another truck. I managed to not touch it even squeezing between the two with my backpack. I slipped a total of three times on my way into school. It is super icy today. I made it into class and about one minute later my name was called for attendance.
I learned about interviews and I now need to buy a suit. Navy blue is a power color I guess. I don't mind getting a suit since I know I will use it for a long time, but I really don't have money right now. :( Bummer.....
After class ended I worked on homework. I wrote up my two page applications paper and turned it in. Another class came in and it was full so I moved to where I am now, the computer lab. I just recently finished my cover letter and turned it in. I am now off to get something to eat at home.
The rest of the day after that consists of filling out some paperwork for scholarships, going to the phone store for them to fix the charging part of my phone, sending in my work hours, and finally going to Glitter and Crumbs to possibly decorate cookies. *takes a deep breath and lets it out*
Busy day interwebz so off I go!
-Melina Rose
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