Wednesday, September 25, 2013

I know who I am without you

but it was a process.

"And I don't know if I could stand another hand upon you
All I know is that I should
'Cos she will love you more than I could
She who dares to stand where I stood"

I couldn't figure it out until I heard these lines. I couldn't understand why I even cared but it got me thinking. To those of you who move on quickly: Congrats. I'm glad you have the ability, really, but for those of us who let the veins of our heart reach out to root into another deeply, those now uprooted ends tickle the part of our subconscious that asks us if it ever was true, if it was abandoned so quickly. And behind every smile and laugh there is a distant nagging, poking and prodding of the part of our heart that is still sore from exercising that more rare strenuous love.

"And I won't be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me than anyone I ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself and so I say to you
This is what I have to do"

I'm not mad. I don't think I'm even hurt. These are simply things I've come to realize. The wound has healed but as with any injury, I guess it's still tender in spots. I had never put myself out that far, it's true and I haven't since. I'm not afraid of it; yet I am cautious. The whole thing introduced me to someone I wish I had met long ago. I met myself. There was only One who could ever bring myself and I together and this is just what it took. 
I found myself and I still am finding more pieces along this road. Only One knows how to keep me on the road and where it goes, and that, that is how it should be.

So there it is interwebz. There is a small peek into the inner parts of my heart.

Melina Rose

Lyrics by Missy Higgins [Where I Stood]

1 comment:

  1. Hello Melina Rose. So good to know you through your profile on the blogger. I am glad to stop by your blog "Just a normal Girl who isn't so normal" and the post on it "I know who I am with out you" . Though I did not follow much but respect you have shared. Yes the Lord knows you, your feelings, your hurts and He knows how to heal them. Well I read in your profile that some day you want to travel Asia and Europe. Well I am from Mumbai, India and since you have your desire to come to Asia one day, hear you have an opportunity to visit Mumbai may be in coming summer vacation. I am in the Pastoral ministry for last 33 yrs in this great city of Mumbai a city with great contrast where richest of rich and the poorest of poor live. We reach out to the poorest of poor with the love of Christ to bring to bring healing to the broken hearted.We also encourage young people like you as well as adults from the West to come to Mumbai to work with us on a short term missions trip during their summer vacation. We would love to have you come with your friends to work with us. I am sure you will have a life changing experience. My email id is: dhwankhede((at)gmail(dot)com and my name is Diwakar Wankhede. Would love to hear from you very soon.