Wednesday, March 30, 2011

I literally told my friend I hope I have a disorder because I don't want to be this stupid

I know, I know, I'm not "stupid" but I sure feel like it.
I managed to watch TV for an hour and a half last night before staying up until 4:30am. My subconscious has also instructed me that I will not be attending any of my 8am classes this week. I have my first essay of the semester due in my incredibly intense Composition class at 1pm so I am working on cranking out a new draft of a hopefully impressive essay to turn in.

1 Cup of coffee? check
1 ipod with upbeat encouraging music? check
6 drafts of said essay scattered around me? check
4 pencils 2 highlighters and 1 pen? check
Determination? check
Progress? check
Finished essay ready to turn in?   ____

Lets get that last one interwebz

-Melina Rose

Monday, March 28, 2011

but it got better :)

So far today I have accomplished the following things:

  • I turned in my resume research paper
  • I turned in my 20 questions
  • I ate a protein bar for lunch
  • I did 3 discussion boards for creative writing
  • I showered
  • I cleaned my bathroom
  • I wrote a freewrite for creative writing
  • I went through the peer review discussion board for creative writing
  • I ate an apple with peanut butter
  • I sent in my work hours
  • I edited a few photos

So today hasn't been to great...

I woke up at 8:35am this morning. My 1hr class starts at 8am. I got to school at 9am. This class meets once a week so attendance is kind of important. I turned in my research paper and 20 questions and headed to the computer lab to do my resume. Even after restarting the computer, it wouldn't let me log in. I decided to head home to do what homework I could there. At this point I was feeling incredibly discouraged. This was not a good way to wake up and start my day, feeling hopeless and like a failure.
I climbed in my truck and turned the key in the ignition. The bars on the radio started moving and this song came on. Being the emotional sob that I am, as soon as the song got to the point where it said don't cry, I had tears streaming down my face. It is an encouraging song.

It's okay if you can't go
And changed what happened
it was just a bad day
And you know everybody has them
I get it when you say
You feel like everyone's passed you over
But it's not too late
Pick the weight up off your shoulders

I'm coming to take you away
To the place where pain won't find you
I'm coming to take you away
So leave the weight of the world behind you
And you know nothing's too far
Nothing's too hard
I'll always be there
I'm coming to take you away

Don't cry cause you know that you're not alone
Now, let me dry your eyes
Now it's time that you finally find out
There will always be a new day
At the end of every hard one
Now I'm on my way
So I can be the help you start one

I'm coming to take you away
To the place where pain won't find you
I'm coming to take you away
So leave the weight of the world behind you
And you know nothing's too far
Nothing's too hard
I'll always be there
I'm coming to take you away
To take you away

I'm coming to get you
So leave your bags at the hall
That held you down
You can't pack for the place we're going now
It doesn't matter what's going on
I'm the one to get you out

I'm going to take you
Where the sun lights up your face
Where you can't remember yesterday
'Till the hurt has been replaced
I'm coming to take you away

I'm coming to take you away
So leave the weight of the world behind you
And you know nothing's too far
Nothing's too hard
I'll always be there
I'm coming to take you away
Take you away

Unfortunately I'm not encouraged.

Monday, March 21, 2011

Cheap Bubble Tea and Free Bagels

I got an email with a coupon for a free bagel and cream cheese. It is lunch time. I am going to eat it. ^_^ I also recently discovered cheap bubble tea much closer to my house. It will be mine. :D

I am excited for this lunch interwebz. Maybe a little to much?

-Melina Rose

Just keep swimming

Hey there!

I'm sorry that I haven't been posting very much on this blog. I just caught up with my posts on my other blog. I got up for my 8am class this morning and dragged myself there. In the coming days and weeks I will be experiencing living death. So exciting! Despite that I have managed to keep a good attitude so far. I missed class last week because I slept through my alarm so I didn't know about our assignment. The three people that didn't do it (including me) were thoroughly chewed out. Our teacher can be pretty harsh at times. While the other people in my class were participating in the activity, I revised my cover letter and turned it in again. When class was ending, I went up to talk to my teacher and just honestly told her straight out what was going on. For about a minute she softened and I could tell that she cares. I told her that I was pretty much terrified of graduation and I had been lying to myself. She told me that everyone was at some point or another and it is to be expected but graduation isn't half as terrifying as her if I don't get my work in. Touche. lol
I headed home and cleaned my room. I have found that my mother was right when she said a cluttered room presses on your brain when you are trying to concentrate on things. My room is clean now and I feel like I can breathe.
I have many things to work on today. I have a four page research paper that was due five weeks ago. Don't judge me. I also have a resume to put together, a web banner to finish, and a 3 page descriptive essay. So off I go.
If you click this picture it moves... :P

Just keep swimming interwebz :)

-Melina Rose

Dear Betsy, (an entry in my diary)

March 20, 2011                                                                                                              12:08am-12:20am

Dear Betsy,
I'm sorry it has been so long since I have written, almost a year! I am 19.5 now. 5'7", 126.5 lbs and my hair (when straightened) is around an inch from ending in the middle of my lower back.

I am still going to (insert school here) through not for much longer. If I don't goof this up, I graduate in May with an associates in Graphic Design Technology.

This is not exactly why I am writing to you though. You see, I have been running. Not because I thought it would help; I knew it wouldn't, but because I was scared, terrified actually. When I graduate, and even before, I have a lot of foreign things to deal with. Interviews, Portfolio shows, deciding how I am going to accomplish my goals in life, all of these things just start crushing down on me and I feel like it is hopeless and it would be easier to give up. In reality, I know it isn't. It only would make it harder. So here goes nothing?

In the wise words of a fish:
Just keep swimming. :)

Night Betsy :)

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

When people don't feel like driving on roads...

This happened last week on I think Friday night after work.  Tortuga and I were sitting in the MacDonald's parking lot after going through the drive through. We had a good view of it and as we were munching, we saw two dumb things. One was much more relevant than the other but I will get to that. There are two lanes in this drive through. Both were working. A car pulled into one lane, backed up and went into the other to order. The one that I truly wanted to tell you about was this. A white SUV pulled through the drive-through and then decided he didn't want it anymore. Instead of using the road, he decided to drive over the median/divider that is currently covered in at least two feet of snow. He got stuck. We laughed. As his back tires were spinning and we were dying of laughter, we had the idea to help him. We drove over and rolled down the window to ask him if he needed any help.

"Do you need any help?"
"Uh...Do you have a tow rope?"
"Do you have a shovel?"
"Well I have a tow rope. Would you pull me out?"

I proceeded to pull my truck around so the back was towards the front of his vehicle. He hooked up the rope to the grate  of his SUV and told us to go slowly. I really didn't want to rip the grate off of his truck so, after he got back in his car, I eased the gas down. That road happened to be pure ice so I ended up going nowhere. He got out and came over to my window.

"It isn't working."
"Maybe I could get in your car and you could drive mine."
"Uh...No. Sorry."
"Ok well let's try again and this time give it a good tug."

Meanwhile the drive through has filled up and this guy is getting stared at like crazy. He got  back in his car and after spinning my tires on the ice a few times, I backed up and gave it a real good tug, praying to God that it wouldn't take off his grill. We managed to pull him out and he sheepishly came back over to my window.

"So, what do I owe ya?"
"Nothing. Just drive on roads."
*laughs* "Yeah, I was being a dumb@__ and thought I could make it."
"Not without four wheel drive." *laughs*
"Yeah, well thanks."

We pulled into a different parking lot and after a bit saw him drive by. I hit the horn lightly and he pulled in next to us. He told us thanks again and that he couldn't believe that he was pulled out by two girls. He then informed us that he had gone back and driven over it again just to make sure that he could.
Dumb...... lol

So in the end we saved a guy named Gary, a call to a tow truck, and a lot of explaining.

Drive on roads interwebz. Ok?

-Melina Rose

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

I know you aren't dead. What happened?

Do you ever have somone that you like to talk to and suddenly you have no contact with them? I mean, they are active on facebook, youtube, and other sites but they don't respond to you. I am rather confused and really sad. I miss you Sephre. Where did you go?

Lately I have been feeling really listless and a little hopeless. I am still sick and randomly feel really tired yet when I should be sleeping I'm wide awake. I haven't been updating my other blog really. I don't find much reason to since the one who is supposed to look at it hasn't. I know people get busy but I haven't heard from them at all in more than a week. Sorry, I keep going back to that. It is bothering me right now.

I have written two more chapters of my story. It is totalling 11,183 words right now. Woo.
I'm really behind in two of my classes. They happen to be the important ones. *sigh* I need to get a large dose of motivation somehow. Does anyone have any for me? I'm so discouraged that I guess I just feel "why try?" I know that is wrong. I just need to kick myself into gear and get everything done.

I don't know interwebz

-Melina Rose